Coaching Corner: Buyers are liars???
By "Coach" Marilou Butcher Roth
No matter how long you have been selling real estate, chances are you have heard the phrase “buyers are liars.” This agent mantra has been around as long as I can remember, and will surface when a buyer tells you what they want...and then ends up buying something totally different from what they told you. It appears on the surface that our buyer is somewhat dishonest in their wish list delivery to you. Rationally, this doesn’t even make sense, does it? Why would a buyer lie about what they want in their housing purchase?
I am going to toss this back onto us, as agents. We know to ask questions about what our buyers desire in a home, and, sometimes we become order takers, meticulously writing down whatever they tell us without going deeper. Questions are the KEY!! As REALTORS, we need to ask more questions to assist the buyer in getting more clear about what they truly want.
Here is a real life example:
Buyer -- lets’s call him Joe for the sake of simplicity, contacts an agent to help him find his first house. He seems very savvy and seems to know what he wants, which in listening, seems to be pretty standard. His requests consist of a 3-4 bedroom 2 story home, with a nice basement, either finished or could be finished, and a large yard.
The agent -- let’s call her Julie, finds several houses in the area that he wants and off they go for their house hunting adventure. After several adventures, with consistent “no’s” from the buyer, Julie becomes frustrated. “I don’t think he is really ready to buy a house, I have shown him exactly what he has asked for, and he doesn’t like any of them and can’t seem to tell me why.”
Julie asks one of the other agents in her office if they have any thoughts on this (which they do), and after that conversation, Julie sits down with her buyer, coming from a different perspective. “Joe, it seems that we are missing something -- the houses we have seen match what you say you are looking for, and yet none of them have been the right house. Let’s look a little deeper into your criteria.”
Julie and Joe have a conversation about his list. She asks him questions about each -- and soon discovers something about his request for a large yard. When she asked him if he liked to garden, or use the yard for entertaining, his response was quick -- NO. “I don’t even like yard work,” Joe explained. Eek! How can this make sense? Well, here is how...Joe was coming from the frame of reference that he knew. He grew up in a house with a big yard, his siblings had homes with big yards and he had great times there. However, when he tuned into the reality, he quickly realized that for him personally, the upkeep of a large yard was not appealing at all!
It is not uncommon for decisions to be made from an unconscious place -- you see, he wasn’t lying, he just did not have the clarity he needed. He was also getting his “no” to the houses he had seen from that same unconscious place. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t like those homes, but something just didn’t feel right.
Our role here is so important. We can, through the quality of our questions, help the buyer get more clear. Questions such as “How do you see yourself using that space,” or “what is important to you about __________,” are examples. Each conversation is as individual as each client, and it is vital that you listen and pay attention. There are clues everywhere if we open to seeing and hearing them!
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
