Coaching Corner: Are You a Worrier?
By "Coach" Marilou Bucher Roth
During my life growing up, it was quite obvious that my father was a professional worrier. He did it better than anyone I knew and would legitimately find issues to worry about. Once he moved to an apartment at a retirement community, we all felt sure he could finally relax with virtually no concerns to speak of. Hah! We couldn't have been more wrong. He began calling us with things about each of us to worry about, none of which required his strongly honed skill. I have seen this behavior with others to the degree that it seems addictive -- always needing something to worry about.
When we worry, our focus is on a potential outcome -- NOT reality! Years ago, I was attending a seminar where the speaker told a story that has always stuck with me. It was Christmas time and the snow was falling somewhat heavily. The man speaking told how he lived within a few blocks of his mother's house and she was hosting Christmas dinner. The speaker's brother was driving some distance to attend with his family. After dinner, the brother with the greater distance left to make the long drive home and the speaker stayed to help clean up. He noticed how troubled his mother was and she finally exclaimed that she was “so worried†about the brother and his family making that drive home. She continued to lament on how awful this was and she was sure he would have a wreck, and she just couldn't rest until he made it home safely. The speaker felt bad and stayed with his mother until the call came that his brother had arrived home safely. He then left to drive the few short blocks and quickly slid into a tree!
Interestingly, his mother had not worried at all about him getting home, only his longer distance driving brother.
When we worry, we expend a tremendous amount of energy on maybe's, possibilities and coulds. Things happen in life -- no doubt about it. However, when we put our thoughts on something that hasn't happened, we rob ourselves of being present in our lives and with others. Staying present gives us clarity, strength and joy. Going out ahead of what is actually happening changes us.
This week, notice your “worry thoughts†and bring yourself back to the present. Focus more clearly on what you are doing, giving your actions and conversations their well deserved attention. If there is something that can be done regarding a “worry thought,†take that action and then get back to your present life! You may be surprised by how much you have been worrying!
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
