Coaching Corner: Wouldn't that be nice!
By "Coach" Marilou Butcher Roth
Do you ever complain? Do you ever hear others complain? I imagine that the vast majority of us can easily answer yes to both of these questions! Today, I want to break down what is happening behind the scenes of complaining.
Let's use a pretty standard example. Someone says something that hurts your feelings, makes you mad or perhaps afraid. What is the typical event that occurs next? Well, unfortunately most of us will lament to some degree about the egregious behavior that has presented itself. We might start just keeping it to ourselves, rolling it around and around in our minds until we are ready to burst, during which time, the event becomes bigger. At that point, if not before, we “confide†in a friend or associate about the situation and magically it becomes even bigger! Interesting how that happens, isn't it?
So...we often become stuck in the “is-ness†of this mini-drama (or sometimes major drama). From this position, we cannot find a solution, only seeing more of what has occurred. You might even be lucky enough to find a comrade who has had a similar experience! Oh joy! Now the lamenting can go on even more. But here's the deal -- you don't get ANYWHERE from here!!
One of the tricks with this is to find ways to shift into a better feeling place. That does not mean candy coating the issue -- it's too late for that. What is that saying about dressing up a pig? What I am talking about is a true shift -- finding thoughts that are not about the dreadful subject but about something else that makes you happy. It can be anything. Good thoughts might feel inaccessible to you at this point, and I assure there is something that will do it.
Pets, kids, grandkids, vacations, food, friends...you get the idea. This takes practice people! And remember -- you are not in control of what others say, but you ARE in control of your own thoughts! No one can take that from you. I have heard countless stories over the years of people in horrendous situations that survive because they consciously thought about something other than the situation at hand. This is skill that each of us can fully develop, and it is so worth it!
Or...you can keep complaining!
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
