Coaching Corner: Clarifying vs. confronting
By "Coach" Marilou Butcher Roth
There have been countless clients over the years that have expressed a concern around situations they felt were “confrontational.†Most people I know have no desire to confront another, myself included. For years, I would avoid those situations where I had the idea that an argument would occur.
Now, as a “reformed confronter,†I can tell you that confrontation is no longer a word or situation that comes up. What I discovered is that it is all about clarifying. I am not sure if this new found wisdom is age related (as everything else seems to be), or just a by-product of coaching. Either way, I welcome it wholeheartedly.
Most recently, we had a contractor working on our deck. My husband hired him and made verbal agreements at the beginning of the project. As often can happen, the plans and the amount changed -- all verbal. By the time I got involved, my husband was ready for a big confrontation around their agreements, which he felt had been broken and, the contractor felt we needed to give him more money at this stage. We all sat down and I asked the contractor to tell us where he felt we were in this project, what still needed to be done, the cost and the timing of completion. He went through it clearly as we asked questions. Once we had a new plan, I typed it up and it was signed by all. Everyone walked away happy with no arguing. Yay!
So, if you are one of those people who disdain the idea of confrontation, see how the work clarification works for you and have a very different type of encounter. Ask questions rather than spew accusations and enjoy the results!
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
