Coaching Corner: Are You On The Triangle?
By Master Coach Marilou Butcher Roth
Earlier this week I had a call with one of my groups, discussing the concept of The Drama Triangle. We all learned the shape of the triangle early on and now we are going to look at what it means to us as adults.
Imagine a triangle, or better yet, draw one. At one point of the triangle, see or write “Victim”. On the next point, see or write “Bully”, and finally see or write “Hero” on the third point. As we move through life, you will undoubtedly find yourself experiencing some sort of drama. Using this triangle as a guide, you can begin to see where you are and how to navigate these positions. Now, let’s break these down….
Victim ~ when you are on this position, you are definitely coming from a place of “being at the effect of”. There are obviously varying degrees of victim, non feeling good!
Bully ~ when you are in the experience of blame or judgment (towards someone, something or yourself), you are indeed hanging out on the bully position of the triangle. And again, you will not feel good if this is where you are located.
Hero ~ now this one is tricky! We want the best for others, and yet, there are times when quite frankly, we need to back away. If you find yourself in “fix it” mode, pay attention!
When we find ourselves on the triangle, we can easily move from position to position and sometimes even taking on a bit of the Twister Game, where we might be straddling more than one position! When we get ourselves off of the triangle (I’ll talk later about this), we find authentic happiness, aligning with the biggest and best parts of ourselves. Now surely, this gives you some motivation, doesn’t it?
How do we get off of this troublesome triangle? Having awareness is key and will help you more than you think. Understanding this triangle will give you countless opportunities to choose - do I want to be here or in a much happier place. Sometimes it is just that easy. Other times you may want to do some breathing, journaling or seek counsel from someone who will not get on the triangle with you!!
The easiest way to know if you are “triangling” is that you will not feel good! That is your best step to finding your happy space! Enjoy
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
