#CoachingCorner: What Is Your Ceiling Made Of?
By Master Coach Marilou Butcher Roth
Currently I am facilitating a group book study and we are reading the book “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks, one of my mentors. This book has been one of my favorite “go to” books both for myself as well as my clients for years. Gay explores what keeps us from being the success that we strive for. He speaks to what he calls the upper limit problem, or as we lovingly referred to it during our apprenticeship with Gay and Katie Hendricks, an “ULP.”
In Gay’s words, you are “upper-limiting when you're doing something that is crimping your flow of positive energy.” Or, in my words, it’s when you are going along, everything is moving beautifully, and then something happens. The ‘somethings’ will vary, and the theme is still the same: having a wonderful feeling and then hitting a ceiling of sorts. And, it usually hurts, either physically or emotionally. Let me convey one of my most memorable ULP stories:
The day of my 50th birthday was well thought-out and planned, including a massage, a hair appointment, and finishing with a lovely dinner with my husband. The day was truly incredible, more than I could have imagined, receiving countless loving calls from family and friends. That afternoon we also had our kitchen designer coming to finalize the plans for our new kitchen. How exciting! As I left this very productive meeting for my hair appointment, I jumped into my car which was parked in the garage, humming a happy little tune, and within moments backed firmly into my husband’s car which was parked in the driveway!! Smash! Oh no! How could this be happening when my day was going so great??
You may not have a car story, but I have no doubt that if you try, you can go into the darkest corners of your memory to come up with your own tale of upper limit woe. Remember, we do not do these things consciously. We do not declare that “dammit, things are just going too great, I think I will screw things up for myself.” It’s simply not how it works.
When you find yourself in one of these situations, acknowledging that you are experiencing an upper limit is quite helpful. Validate yourself for the realization and put some attention on recapturing the great feeling place you were in prior to the ULP. Pay attention to when you may be creating this within your own life, bringing attention to how you limit yourself can only be a positive step for you and your success.
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
