Coaching Corner: Children, work and spaghetti carbonara
By Marilou Butcher Roth, Master Coach
Today I will take a little trip down memory lane -- back to much earlier days when my two sets of twins were much younger. This was quite some time ago, so I have reached the point where I can definitely find humor in this story.
During this time of my life, I was juggling my real estate career and four boys, convincing myself that I could indeed be “Marathon Mom,” even when they were with their father. This particular memory is about one of those moments when I realized I would either have to start easing up on myself or risk potential insanity.
It was a weeknight, homework was being done (or whatever it was they did when they went upstairs), and I was preparing what I thought would be a fantastic dinner -- Spaghetti Carbonara. As it turned out, I made too much pasta, which wasn’t uncommon (isn’t more always better??). I lovingly assembled the dinner and decided to send the overage of pasta down the garbage disposal, at that time being uneducated about the mysterious ways of said disposal. Lesson #1 -- do NOT put pasta down the garbage disposal!! Yes, the disposal chopped it up into tiny bits, sitting at the bottom as if to point out my ignorance. The water continued to build as I feebly attempted to correct my mistake, but alas, the disposal gods did not shine on my valiant efforts, and the water made its way up higher and higher into the sink.
As much as I do not like to do this, I asked for help. I received one of those pressure cans, which in theory, is supposed to shoot air into the clog and magically drain the troublesome water -- note the “in theory” part. During this daunting episode, one of my sons happened to be nearby, so I asked him to hold the stopper down on one side of the sink so that I could shoot this magical air into the other side, creating pressure and unclogging the sink. Well, we got pressure!!! We got so much pressure that despite the valiant efforts of my then 12-year-old son to hold the stopper down, teeny tiny pieces of pasta shot throughout the kitchen, the walls, the ceiling, the floor, and of course, both of us, leaving us to look like a Sunday dinner gone bad!
After the kitchen and both of us were clean, I found a wee bit of humor in realizing how this experience reflected this particular phase of my life: how beautiful the completed dinner was to see and eat, and how much time and energy it took to clean up the results of my lack of knowledge. Aha! A moment of enlightenment came when I realized how segmented my life had become; how scattered my time and energy were. I had to ask myself: what was truly important? Was it absolutely necessary to be this elaborate in my cooking for 12 and 14-year-old boys? Did they actually care, and why did I find these tasks so important?
Sure, creating a lovely meal is a great thing, and yet what was truly important was my relationship with my sons, not a fancy meal. Finding the balance in my life became a quest, leading me not only to discovering how to spend my time and energy on what I valued, it also led me to my coaching career, for which I shall be forever grateful.
And, although I have never prepared that particular dish again, I can’t help but smile whenever I see a recipe for Spaghetti Carbonara!!
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
