Coaching Corner: Are you really mad?
By Marilou Butcher Roth, Master Coach
Currently, my day has turned itself upside down and my original plan for the day is definitely not happening! Undoubtedly, you may have experienced something similar. So tell me, did you get angry? Or a bit frustrated?
Here is the skinny on anger and milder versions of that emotion, such as frustration. When you experience any level of this heated feeling, it is a great opportunity for gaining another level of self awareness. Yep, it is yet another place to find that awareness instead of not having any idea of what is happening within us.
The majority of the time (and I mean a large majority) there is another emotion creeping about, hiding under the more obvious one of anger. It may be fear, it may be sadness, or perhaps both. Your job, as your own internal private detective, is to uncover which that might be.
Let’s go back to my original day of feeling frustrated with the upheaval of my schedule. Keep in mind, it is not just one thing that has gone off the rails; it began early and continued. What is happening under this uncomfortable emotion of frustration for me? And, what do I want at this point?
As I tune inward, I notice I have a sense of internal chaos, a bit of stomach churning, if you will. Hmm, chaos and stomach churning point highly in the direction of fear. Now this doesn’t need to be teeth chattering fear -- there are always varying degrees of our emotions. So why might this fear be showing up? As my day began, I had a beautiful layout of my day, filled with chosen activities, and now those activities lay abandoned as other items took precedence. I want to place my attention back on the items that absolutely need to be accomplished today for me to feel complete. It will not be everything I had originally planned, and yet, as I make my revised list, I notice my breath is more easeful, my stomach is calm, and my initial feelings of frustration have shifted into a more positive space.
Hopefully, my crazy day will serve you in some way, bringing a new perspective around anger and how it can hide what is truly happening.
