Coaching Corner: Did you hear?
by Marilou Butcher Roth, Master Coach
Oh my! How seductive are those three little words when we hear them? Admit it--when someone approaches you with that question, it is often impossible to ignore. We innately want to know what they have to say. This is a natural response, and what someone is about to tell you is probably gossip.
In pursuing the idea of gossip, I think in these terms: It may be something unfavorable about someone else. Ask yourself, 'could this statement be made directly to the person being spoken about?' If the answer is ‘no’, you are in the world of gossip!
According to the book “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership,” there are several reasons why gossip may occur:
- To make others wrong
- To gain validation
- To control others
- To get attention
- To divert attention
- To avoid conflict
- To avoid feeling (and/or) expressing authentic emotions
- To create (pseudo) alliances
Often, compounding the gossip, assumptions are drawn, which may become part of the conversation.
Take some time to explore where you are on this topic. You may find yourself in the position of delivering the gossip, or on the receiving end. If it's the latter position, you choose how you want to handle the situation. When gossip is tossed in your direction, you have the option to discontinue the conversation. You may feel uncomfortable, and there is nothing wrong with voicing that discomfort. On the other hand, if you find yourself in the position of wanting to share something juicy, take a moment to check yourself. Review the list of reasons why gossip may occur, and see if one or more might resonate with you.
Conscious Leadership begins when you know what is happening within yourself. And when you are confident about your truth, you are uninterested in spreading gossip about others.
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
