Coaching Corner: Are you listening?
By Marilou Butcher Roth, Master Coach
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking at a Women’s Council of REALTORS meeting, and our discussion was all around listening. As an exercise, I gave them a quiz on listening, and I thought you might enjoy answering some of these questions yourself.
When someone is talking to you, do you:
- Make people feel that you are interested in them and what they have to say?
- Think about what you want to say while others are speaking?
- Acknowledge what the speaker says before offering your own point of view?
- Jump in before the other person has finished speaking?
- Pretend to be listening when your mind is elsewhere?
- Make judgments about who is worth listening to and who isn’t?
These questions get your brain activated to begin examining your own listening skills. One of the fun pieces of this exercise was to answer the questions from two perspectives -- one if you were listening to a significant other, and one if the person was a client, co-worker, etc. Most participants found that their listening was much better with work-related conversations than with significant others. That is certainly interesting to think about, isn’t it?
Take some time to give your listening skills a refresher course -- allow yourself to be present with your conversations, regardless of who you are talking to. Focus solely on the conversation at hand throughout the discussion. You may be surprised at what you learn!
Quieting our minds in order to be fully present is much harder than it seems. It’s natural and human to drift or think about our replies when talking amongst coworkers, friends, and family -- especially when so many distractions are literally around us 24/7 via technology. What are some ways you can allow others to see and feel your focus and attention? Can you maintain eye contact while they are speaking; leave your phone upside down on the table or in another room while engaging? Write down ways you know when someone’s present with you, and then make a promise to reciprocate.
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
