Coaching Corner: Are you living in integrity?
By Marilou Butcher Roth, Master Coach
What does integrity mean to you? Integrity is one of those words that we hear often, and perhaps even say often, but what meaning do you individually place upon this word? And, how does it play out in your daily life? I think integrity is one of those concepts that we automatically believe we have without specifically identifying exactly how. Let’s look at just one way where improvement might happen.
One of my absolutes is keeping impeccable agreements. During my coaching apprenticeship with The Hendricks Institute many years ago, this concept was presented to me, and quite frankly, although I thought I understood how to effectively keep agreements, I quickly found that I sucked at it! At this point in my life, making and keeping my agreements is essential to my feeling good, and the cool thing is, it’s not that hard.
The first piece of the agreement puzzle is to make agreements that align with what you want and who you are. Please, do not say yes to something when it is clearly not what you want to be doing. Come on, we have all done this at one point or another -- saying yes to something perhaps to be kind, or because you think you “should.” Regardless of the reasoning behind your yes, the key is to get yourself clear on you, and what works or doesn’t work. It may seem a daunting task for some of you to entertain the idea of saying no, and, I do understand that. However, think of the consequences when you override that feeling.
Okay, let’s assume that the agreement you have made is a definite yes for you. And, what if things change? You must communicate the change to the person(s) that this change effects. Running late is a great example -- do you get into the mindset that you will in fact arrive at your destination soon, so there is no need to call/text the other person? Even if it is just a few brief minutes, let your waiting comrade know what is happening. There are times when changing an agreement needs to happen -- the idea is to communicate that change to the appropriate people.
One more thought on agreements. Think about the agreements you make with yourself. Maybe you have decided to workout three times per week. Great! And then, you miss a workout early into this well laid out plan. Most of us tend to beat ourselves up at that point, which brings us down, swimming in self degradation. What if, when you realize that the timing is not going to work, you acknowledge this fact, explore your options and then choose how you would like to handle the missing workout. Do you want to do it at another time, or just move on to the next scheduled workout time. You see, it’s absolutely not hard to do this, it takes a moment to acknowledge how you want to proceed. From this place you remain in that beautiful state of integrity, which allows you to move forward feeling good about who you are and how well you handled the change.
This week play with the idea of integrity in your life. Is it hiding? Or is it out there in front, leading your parade? Have fun with this one!
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati. Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee. Feel free to contact Marilou to see if coaching is right for you.
