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Coaching Corner: How many peas are on your plate?
By Marilou Butcher Roth, Master Coach
Many moons ago, my sons pediatrician strongly counseled me around comparing my twins, making sure that they strongly felt their individuality. Luckily, that was my philosophy as well...and I do mean luckily since two years later, my second set arrived! Now, there were daily opportunities to compare -- who spoke first, who crawled first, who walked first...it was endless. I was able, however, to see them as separate little people, developing at their own pace.
As they grew, they did not grasp that same philosophy, and the comparisons with each other became probably my most challenging piece of parenting. I knew we were in trouble when they began counting the peas on their plates, to ensure that mom had not given more to one than another! Geez!!
Comparing is such a big topic, and there are few of us humans that do not find ourselves in the place of looking at someone else and seeing how we size up in comparison. It might be about how they look, what they have, their career success, their children, etc. This list could go on forever.
Now, here is the flip side -- what happens when you compare and deem yourself superior in some way? Whoa! The reality is this perception is just as damaging!
Comparisons are not healthy for anyone. Ideally, when we NOTICE something about someone else, we have the opportunity for our own personal growth, and sometimes inspiration can even come about.
This week, I invite you to notice when you find yourself in a place of comparing. One fun way to do this is to bring back some old math. Imagine the symbols for “greater than,” “less than” and “equal to,” and determine where you see yourself in situations. My guess is that you will find yourself in comparison mode more frequently than you imagined.
Have fun with this, do not judge yourself -- and for God’s sake, do not count your peas!!!